Forming us

         With Your hands You formed us, and with our hands we serve You! 

 Little did I know 5 months ago what meaning this phrase would have in my life.  

  About 10 weeks ago, knowing that Lliam had a cystic hygroma I was honestly searching for something. Some phrase to keep me going, some verse, some.. something. My search ended with this verse
   " Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer who formed you from the womb: I am the Lord who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who alone spread out the earth by myself,  ...who turns wise men back and makes their knowledge foolishness."

 During this season of our lives as Lliam has continued to grow, continued to show signs to the Doctors that they couldn't explain; I have repeatedly gone back to this. It is God who formed him, and continues to form his very life. But really He is not only forming and knitting together this little life, He is forming me. Forming me into the person He desires me to be. On my own, I want to keep to myself, talk to no one about this and cope with denial. I have done that, and it doesn't work. It does not offer the peace that this realization does. The realization that the God who formed Lliam, who made all things, spoke them into existence,  it is my God who is forming me and if He is forming me like clay then guess where I am?? In the safest place, the palm of His hand. Wow... yes there will be times and has been times I loose the focus of that, but really think about that for a minute.  

I hate to alienate some of you from all of this with these statements, but know my heart. I am not trying to shove this down your throat I am just sharing how we are having peace, joy, hope in the midst of what seems hopeless. I love you all and hope that you will continue on this journey through this season of our lives.

 All of this comes together with the events of today. Our appointment. Darrell and I went into the ultrasound room, holding our breath as usual, wondering if today was going to be the day of great sorrow.  Well.. heart beat was even stronger today, our tech then looked at me and said.. "Do you see that? He doesn't have fluid around his heart, its completely gone!"  Then next she was looking at the abdominal wall,  "and do you see this? I cant believe it, but that looks so much better than it did even two weeks ago!" Me in my lack of faith and realist mindset asked "ok, are you sure; are you just trying to be positive?"  She looked at me knowingly and said "not at all, honey, it is improving."  
  Next was our visit with the Doctor, who also said that she could not believe how much he had improved over the course of 2 weeks. "Not wanting to raise up your hopes, but he is somehow doing much better. His heart is working well and seems even stronger."  Looking back at her with tears in my eyes, I said "it's prayer".

  We have a rough road still ahead, but right now nothing new is presenting itself as an added concern.  My heart is filled with gratitude for all of the prayers, encouragement, thoughts and love sent our way and on our behalf. Thank you all.

I will leave you with this...
     With his hands he formed us and with our hands we will serve him -
This is the phrase that was on my daughters class project at school. 2 weeks ago after our last appointment, I saw this canvas and longed to have it. The class project was for a fundraiser auction.. you guessed it, the silent kind where parents duke it out to see who can win the coveted piece of art.  I was outbid and honestly disappointed. To my surprise I was  given a sweet gift by a dear friend who knew what it meant to me. I am so humbled and grateful for her sweet act of love. May the message of this canvas inspire you as it has me.

Love,
Michelle