If anyone knows me well, they know I LOVE music. The best gift ever for me is a ticket to a symphony, opera or a broadway show. I just any get enough of it! One of my favorite broadway plays Has a song near the end entitled "for good" . I have loved, memorized, taught , sang this song until I am singing it in my sleep. Often , I have looked at this song as one of those thanking a mentor, sibling or friend types of songs. This morning, it came to mind with a whole new twist. As I lay awake at 3:00 am thinking of what today may/may not bring, the phrase "I do believe I have been changed for the better..." Was ringing in my head. Let me share some of the lyrics to help those of you who don't have this quite memorized! ;)
" I've heard it said that people come into our lives, for a reason
Bringing something we must learn, and we are lead to those who help us most to grow if we let them. And we help them in return. Well, I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you.
Like a comet pulled from orbit, as it passes the sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder half way through the wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better. Because I knew you, I have been changed for good". (For good-- wicked)
As someone who grew up in church, knowing all the right verses, phrases, postures, I have known the concept "all things work together for good" . This morning thinking of all this time that has gone by, nearly half of the year devoted to carrying a child I may never get to ... Hold and have make all those cute sounds, a son that I may not get to watch play ball, rough house and tackle his sisters. You and I can easily sit back and feel, think even ''how could this be for good?"
I truly believe that seeing the good comes down to trust. Trust in a God who never changes, who sees our end before our beginning.
If we determine that no matter what we are on Gods side, it settles that trust issue in our hearts. And if we ground ourselves in the reality that we trust God, we can face circumstances that are out of our control without acting out of control" (unglued - terkeurst)
Today I am going to trust. As I go to the specialist, I will trust. I know it was not by chance that this was heavily on my heart this morning. I will choose this day that I will lean on the strong arms of Jesus. Knowing his ways are higher than mine. His thoughts higher than mine. I do believe that because I was chosen to carry Lliam, I have been changed for good. Because I know my Gods way is best and I am trusting that, I continue to be changed for good.
Lliam, I do believe I have been changed for the better, because I knew you, I have been changed for good.
For my good, an Gods ultimate glory.
You are one of the strongest women I know! I cannot even imagine the pain you are feeling, and I feel selfish saying I hope I never have to. I am sorry. You are an inspiration! You are a remarkable woman, and I hope I can grow to rely and trust in Jesus the way you do. I have struggled a lot with my faith over the years. For several I even turned my back on him, not wanting to believe. Hating him! My pain was nothing compared to what you and your family is going through. I am preying for Lliam. I pray that he will get the chance to live a long and happy life! I prey that You will get to know all the joys of little boys! If there is ANYTHING I can do for you and your family, I will gladly help with all I can!! We may not have known each other for very long, but I love you, and your wonderful family!
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